So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
