I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
