her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
