I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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