I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
