"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
