Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
