I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
