you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The air was thick with penises
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
