Small penises have feelings too.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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