Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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