So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
