Swine flu is the new snow day.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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