chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
