the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
