Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
