Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
