Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
