all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
