It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
