Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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