We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
