wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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