She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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