you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't deserve a penis
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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