I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
