I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
