question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
