I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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