guys are not supposed to queef...right?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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