and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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