this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
