best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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