I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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