Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This baby is an asshole
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Damn victory sex feels great
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
