I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
