I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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