I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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