i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
