Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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