If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Randomize
