I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
