I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
God, I missed his penis.
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