and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
