paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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