so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
