your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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