You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have post one night stand depression
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