And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
