for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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