i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
