just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
