i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We are all done wearing pants today
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
